LISTEN: Giving up driving after being diagnosed with dementia
Dr James McKillop tells Scotland's Talk In about his fight to get back behind the wheel, just once more.
It's estimated that ninety thousand Scots are living with dementia, but how do you tell a loved one that they're no longer safe behind the wheel?
A man living with the condition has been telling our Scotland's Talk In programme about he was forced to up driving - but not without a struggle.
Dr James McKillop told his story to Rob Waller on the programme.
James, who's from Glasgow, was first diagnosed 14 years ago and has written a booklet with the Life Changes Trust to help other families going through the same thing.
In 'Driving and Dementia - My Experiences' he writes: "My dementia did cause me to have driving problems,such as attempting to drive down the wrong side of a dual carriageway several times. I was positioned to turn right, indicating, ready to proceed, and it was only due to oncoming drivers flashing their headlights at me, that I was prevented from making that potentially fatal manoeuvre. Had they not come along at that time, I would have been off down the wrong side. I couldn’t understand where I had gone wrong.
"I was also having trouble at roundabouts. When I approached and read the directions, I would forget in an instant where I had
to go. I used to circle several times, feeling more and more dizzy and still take the wrong exit in panic.
"My wife, Maureen, refused to sit in the car with me if I was driving. Whereas before she had felt perfectly secure about my driving abilities, as I was a safe driver and had never been involved in an accident, she was now uneasy and concerned. She stopped me taking my young son out with me in the car, as she was frightened for him."
"It is a bitter blow losing your licence and you have no idea just how crippling it is, until it happens to you. Your mobility is turned upside down. Your freedom to get up and go at a moment’s notice is gone. You lose your independence. You may have to rely on others to get about. You feel a nuisance if you ask and are reluctant to bother busy people. You may feel infantilised, taken about like a toddler. Some places are off bus routes and the beaten track and you can no longer travel there, unless someone has the time to take you. It can be humiliating and demoralizing."
"If you are the partner or son or daughter of someone with dementia who has to stop driving, do not expect them to surrender their car keys without a fierce fight. If they do hand them over, feel lucky. They may be aghast at any suggestion to stop driving. It can be like a death knell. There may be bitter recriminations, making you feel guilty about what you are doing to them."