Herts charity urges male victims of domestic abuse to come forward

Today marks the very first 'Supporting Male Victims of Domestic Abuse Day'

Author: Charlotte Evans-YoungPublished 2nd Nov 2022

A charity in Hertfordshire is urging male victims of domestic abuse to come forward and ask for help.

It's as today marks the very first 'Supporting Male Victims of Domestic Abuse Day' which is designed to let men know they're not alone.

It's being launched by the ManKind Initiative in partnership with more than 25 supporting organisations.

It's hoped the campaign will encourage more male victims of domestic abuse to come forward and seek help through their local domestic abuse services or police.

Sarah Cowen is from Future Living in Hertford, which offers counselling to men, women, and children recovering from domestic abuse.

She says men don't always recognise they're victims of abuse: "It might not be physical so therefore there is an immediate reaction from men that it's not abuse.

"It can be emotional, financial, sexual abuse, or coercive control."

Ms Cowen adds that it can be hard for men to come forward for help because they might feel embarrassed or even worried that they won't be believed: "if male victims call the police, I think it's important to note that the feedback we get is, they are treated as the criminal.

"We understand that one person has to be removed from the property but if you're a male victim you might be worried that if you call the police, you're going to be the one spending the night in a cell. That needs to be addressed."

She added that there is plenty of support online, over the phone, and in person, but the support provided by Future Living is for those no longer in an abusive relationship: "when a victim is at most risk it's just after the relationship has ended.

"So it's about making sure we're safeguarding our clients and people who have been victims of domestic abuse and empowering them to move forward and not repeat those patterns."

Ms Cowen's sentiments are echoed by Mark Brooks OBE, Chair if the ManKind Initiative, who has said: "We hope this will also raise more general awareness amongst society and friends and family who often have a vital role to play in helping them to escape.

“Tens of thousands of men are suffering in silence and simply do not know where or who to turn to for help and guidance. They often do not even recognise what they are going through is domestic abuse until it is described to them. This is why it is important for local organisations and the police to publicise the support they have and be very clear that they will take them seriously."

Mark also wanted to reiterate the campaign's slogan 'MenYouAreNotAlone': “If we keep pushing the message that there is support, you are not weak, you are not to blame and you are not alone, then more men will come forward and receive the support they need. This will also include their children who are now covered by the new domestic abuse laws. This is why the message #MenYouAreNotAlone is so important.”

If you are facing domestic abuse and wish to speak to someone to get help, call Refuge on 0808 2000 247.

You can contact ManKind confidentially on 01823 334 244. Alternatively, you can anonymously speak to Women's Aid through a live chat service.

You can also reach out to Future Living if you're a survivor of domestic abuse living in Herts.

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