"Please get it banned, just for me" -The desperate plea from Cumbria man to end conversion therapy once and for all
Jeremy was subjected to hours of extreme therapy when he was 16, just because he's gay
Some readers may find the content of this article distressing.
A Cumbria man is joining calls to ban conversion therapy after he was subjected to months of it as a child.
A government consultation is in its final week which would see it made illegal to offer services that claim to change someone's sexual orientation or gender identity.
Jeremy Gavins was just 16-years-old and living in West Yorkshire, when he fell in love with a boy called Stephen.
When they broke up, Jeremy was caught crying at school by a priest.
His teachers threatened to expel him, unless he took part in extreme therapy.
"I thought my only way of escaping the situation I was in was to get past my A-Levels and get to university.
"Basically, it meant that I had to go for the cure, so in some ways you could say I volunteered…but I don’t think I did."
He was taken to a facility in Bradford where hours of electroshock-therapy took place.
"They fixed my arms to the sides of the chair; on my right arm they fixed a strap which had a couple of terminals on that were going to give me electric shocks in the arm.
"There were two screens in this room and on the screens will appear pictures of naked men, when I looked at these, I’d get an electric shock.
"That was Tuesday morning. I had a session, every couple of days, for the next couple of weeks and I failed all my exams."
Despite this, Jeremy was still deeply in love with Stephen.
"Towards the end of the aversion therapy, they changed tactics, instead of showing me pictures, they took the pictures away, screens away and I had to lie down naked on a bed and the electric was still attached to me.
"They told me to imagine being with Stephen and now they weren’t working on pictures, they were working on my brain and my mind.
"Then they gave me electric shocks."
This led to Jeremy taking extreme measures within his mind that would haunt him for decades to come.
"I want to carry on thinking about Stephen, but I want the pain to stop.
"What my brain did, in 1972, I imagined I saw Stephen die in a road accident.
"By doing that I could honestly tell these doctors that I didn’t love Stephen anymore, because to me he was dead, and the aversion therapy stopped.
"For the next 40 years, I believed that I saw Stephen die, and I didn’t find out that I didn’t until 2011."
Jeremy now lives happily in Cumbria, alone with his pet dog Timmy. He has this message for people who can make a change.
"If any MP listens to this and they want to think about banning this damn stuff please get it banned.
"Just for me."
Get support if you've been impacted by conversion therapy.
Anti-abuse charity Galop have set up a National Conversion Therapy Helpline to support anyone who is being offered conversion therapy, currently undergoing it, or has undergone it in the past.
The number is 0800 130 3335, and lines are open Mon-Fri 10am-4pm