Fears over more families in York breaking up because of the pandemic

Charity Family Matters York says they've seen an increase in couples breaking up.

Author: Benjamin FearnPublished 27th Apr 2021

A York charity offering coaching and counselling to struggling parents is warning that more families are breaking up because of the pandemic.

Family Matters York hosts a variety of training workshops and courses, and say restrictions and Covid-19 has exacerbated issues.

Helen Atkinson is a parenting co-ordinator at the charity: "It's been so tough for people. For any parent having to home school and try and work has been really hard, particularly for parents of primary school children.

"For children your friends at that age is such an important part of your life, so to not be able to see them for much of the last year has been difficult.

"Relationships have taken a hit, even for couples who were doing well before the pandemic. The split rate has gone up and it's just been so hard for everybody.

"I've met families and couples where they've split up this year; perhaps there were cracks already, but maybe without the pandemic they'd have made it work".

Helen also urges parents struggling to work things through to go on a course, either online or in person: "All parents should go on a course, because we're not given a handbook; all you've got to go on is what your parents did with you.

"No one tells us how to do it well. The parents who come on our courses want to do their very best for their children.

"Some children have been delighted to go back to school, but others have found it tough because they miss that familiarity in a home setting.

"I think we carry on for as long as we can, and when we get to the point where we think 'I can't do this anymore' we get help.

"We run couple to couple mentoring courses, just to help them learn some better relationship skills. We also do a range of parenting courses, whether it's parents of early years children or teenage children.

"We also run a course that has been very popular called 'handling anger in the family', and often it's been full. When we get stuck in one place we often get cross, as parents and children.

"I've had lots of people saying that the pandemic took away all the nice and fun bits of life, and left us with the bad elements. People have still had the work to do, but haven't been able to do recreational activities in the same way.

"We've had more courses and parents than ever, and going forwards we're hoping to trial an in-person course. However, we won't stop doing Zoom courses because they've made things more accessible for people.

"It's helped parents who may be single parents, who can't get a babysitter or just wouldn't have had the time or confidence to come in person.

"We've also got a list of parents waiting to come to in person course, so we'll still cater for them.

"We just share ideas; we're not prescriptive and we don't tell parents what to do. The feedback we get is amazing; the houses are calmer and the relationships are better".

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