"'How are you' are three of the most important words" - counsellors urge friends and family to look out for people in crisis

Stewart Lucas, from Mind in Greater Manchester, said the responsibility for getting support should not just fall on the person who is suffering

PA
Author: Abi SmittonPublished 17th Jan 2019

A mental health counsellor in Greater Manchester is urging everybody to look out for friends, family and colleagues who may be struggling, by simply listening to them.

Stewart Lucas, the Strategic Lead for Mind in Greater Manchester, said the best advice is to engage people in coversation and make sure you are paying attention to the answers:

"Actually how are you are probably three of the most important words in the English language. If the answer is I'm fine, the recommendation would be ask again.

"Listening is a really important and quite rare skill. You don't need to offer advice or solutions, that's not important. What you need to do is just listen and just let that person unload to you about how they're feeling."

Stewart is encouraging us to become better listeners as we continue our People Care campaign, shining a light on the issue of suicide in Greater Manchester and looking at what needs to change to help people.

He said:

"It's incredibly important to be able to vent and it's very important on a number of different levels. What I don't want to give the impression of is that everyone needs to get a counsellor or a therapist. Actually, some of the most important people to offload to are your friend, or your family. Or you can do it through complete strangers. There are so many different layers to this - if you're concerned about them, then use little acts of kindness. You know, literally just make a cup of tea for somebody, being there for somebody is really important.

"If you feel unable to talk about something with somebody then support them to get professional help. The really important thing to remember is that we all have mental health, it's just like physical health. It's something everybody has.

"That's the real key - people think they don't know what to say or that they need a qualification to say anything. A common thing that people say to us who've had mental health crises is that they'll go back to work and then colleagues will say 'Oh, I knew something was wrong'. Well, why didn't you say anything?"

For more information on the services offered by Mind in Greater Manchester, visit: https://www.manchestermind.org/about-us/mind-in-greater-manchester/

If you are struggling, or know someone else who is facing a mental health crisis, services available include:

https://www.samaritans.org/

http://www.stayingsafe.net